Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.

- Graycie Harmon

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Dear Self,

I know you've been feeling a little down for... well.... awhile. To be perfectly honest, I can't say I blame you.

You're not exactly where you though you'd be at this stage of your life, are you? I mean, you were supposed to have finished your Master's Degree and be working on your PhD right now. You were supposed to be some genius academic, highly respected in your field, and working at a University. You were going to be offered a tenure, remember?

Instead, you're too poor to even begin a Master's degree, even though you've found the one you want to do, let alone think about your Doctorate. As far as your professional life, you're working in a job that has no chance of upward movement, for a wage that is only marginally better than the crappy retail job you left behind.

Outside of your profession, you were supposed to have met someone wonderful, have bought a house together, and be planning a wedding right now. Remember when you were seven, and thought that everyone should be married at 26? I mean, all your friends are either married or getting married.

Instead, you find yourself without anyone piquing your interest, and those very, very few that do... well, you don't pique theirs.

No wonder you're feeling down. You feel a bit like a failure, no?

Well, let me remind you of all the things you have that you ought to be incredibly proud of and thankful for!

So, you haven't gotten a Master's degree. So, you're working in a job that is menial and dull. Whoopty-fikkin'-do.

You've written 6 complete novels, and 1 short-story anthology - with illustrations. They're not small things either. Each one of your novels is well and truly over 90 000 words. Most are over 100 000. Who the hell can say that by the time they were 27 years old, they had 7 completed books under their belt? That almost one book every four years since the day you were born. How awesome is that?

Sure, you aren't published. It's only a matter of time before you are. You know that right? That's all beside the point. 7 books. You have written 7 books. What an achievement! Go you!

So, you haven't found that someone. You have a close circle of friends and family who love you very much. Do you know how many people would kill for the circle of love and support that surrounds you right now? And you have to admit, your friends are incredible! I mean, K.C., P.M., A.H., T.H., P.B., J.M-B., T.J., K.B. and A.J. - just to mention a few - are incredible people. You are so very lucky to have them in your life, and you know it! And your family is fantastic too! You know of people whose families don't support their dreams. Yours does. Yours is amazing!

So, you don't have your house. Who cares? You're living in a terrific little flat with and incredible flatmate, plus two cats, and having an awesome time! Think back to you-know-who and the terrible things she dragged you through. Now look where you are. How lucky are you, right now?

Last but not least, you have something that so many others do not. You have found a direction, a purpose, a reason to march through the daily grind. You're not just going through the motions like so many other automatons you know. You are fired up. You are full of passion. Every day is fresh and new and full of possibility. So many would kill for just a taste of what that's like.

You are so incredibly blessed.

So, dear self, I want you to return to this post every time you're feeling down. Every time you receive a rejection, or find that you've momentarily lost your fire, come back to this post, and read through it.

You are so very, very lucky.

Love,
Me.

2 comments:

Julie Séguin said...

Word.

S.M. Carrière said...

I love that you're bringing back the 90's....