Owie

I'm bruised. I'm not talking about my ego or my heart. I mean I am actually, physically bruised. I have a very large bruise on my forearm that is in the vague shape of an upside-down heart. When I asked what to make of it, someone replied:

Love hurts.

It put a smile on my face, in any case.

On the very same forearm I have managed to bruise the bone near my wrist. So much so that it hurts to move my hand a certain way. It was a right pain during training last night, as a simply slap block sent heady aches all down my forearm. This particular bruise cannot be seen. It hurts more than the other bruise, though! I look like the poster-child for spousal abuse. Now if only there was a spouse to blame it on....

I'm telling you this because I think I might be something of a masochist (but without the sexual overtones). I constantly get hurt at training, but I go regardless and thoroughly enjoy myself. I constantly put my work out for judgement, and get injured by rejection. To be fair to me, though, I don't enjoy that so much. In love... well, don't get me started.

Alright, that's enough whining. There are two very important reminders.

1) The Dying God & Other Stories is released this Sunday. I nervous and scared and a little excited. I don't expect the world of this eBook, but it's nice to have something out there for people to read (since I'm so jealously guarding my novels).

2) There are things to be won! There are three competitions being run for the release of The Dying God & Other Stories. Enter at least one of them. You never know, you could be a winner! GO HERE to learn what is up for grabs and how to enter.

I think that covers about everything. This is the last post before the release of The Dying God & Other Stories (I'm just seeing how many times I can plug the title into one post). How exciting! I shall relate to you all the gory details of the party on Monday. Possibly Tuesday if it's a really good party.

So, just to say goodbye, here is the book trailer (again) for The Dying God & Other Stories (that's 4. Not bad):

Oh The Melodrama

I should be more melodramatic more often. Yesterday's post garnished more responses than I thought I had regular readers.

First off, thank-you everyone for your support and encouragement. It really does help to hear a kind word every so often. I am truly grateful for all the wonderful people whom I've met on this journey.

You all rock the Casbah!

The roller-coaster has switched to an upswing, and I'm feeling better today. That will last until the next time I plummet.... Ah... the mood swings of a creative mind. I'm just using creativity as an excuse for my fragile emotional state, mind.

I shan't dwell on it, but thank-you.

Today, I'm going over The Dying God & Other Stories just to make really sure. Then I'll be picking the readings I'll be doing at my Hallowe'en/Release Party I'm throwing Sunday. Thus, I must go. Have a great Thursday everyone!

The Pit of Despair

I am speaking to the wrong crowd if I mention that the title is a Princess Bride reference?

It is, however, still pertinent to how I'm feeling right about now.

Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I pouring my soul out on paper and then handing it over to people to judge? Why am I still going despite the fact that I've been told over and over and over again that what I have to offer is not wanted?

Doing this is a big deal for me. I mean, before I started out on this ridiculous career, I could barely talk to strangers for fear of judgement.

Why am I doing this?

I don't understand myself sometimes. I don't understand why I'm so driven to have my stories be published. I don't understand why I want them published traditionally. I mean, I love to write. Most everyone who has read what I've written enjoys it. Why the hell should I care if an acquisition editor likes it? Why? Why? Why?

When I first started out, I was fairly certain that I would be published. Somehow, despite the pile of rejections tucked away somewhere in my room, I still feel like my writing is good and I will be published. Yet, I also feel like I will never be recognised. That my writing is rubbish. That everyone hates it. How is it possible to feel two opposite things are true at the same time? I don't get it, so don't ask me.

I was just about to say that I'm at my wits end. Whether or not that is true, I'll keep plugging away all the same. Fifty years from now, I'll probably still be plugging away at it. I don't know why. I think that perhaps there really isn't anything else I ever really wanted to do so much.

I want a career as a fiction writer.

So I guess I have no choice but to keep striving for it until it either happens, or I die. If the first, then woot! If the second, perhaps I'll be recognised post mortem.

You know, this roller-coaster isn't fun, but it's the only ride I want to be on.

Sigh.

What the?

Yesterday I had a quick look through the manuscript for The Dying God & Other Stories. This piece is something I've edited, re-edited, had edited (unpaid) and edited again.

I still found errors.

Two spelling errors and roughly four grammatical errors.

What the...?

That might not seem so bad for five poems and ten short stories, but I found it completely unacceptable, especially since I have paid so much attention to this particular piece. It just goes to show, you can never edit too much!

Today I'm reading through it again, to make sure that the changes I saved yesterday have stuck. Sometimes I get a paranoid feeling that Word is out to get me and doesn't save all my changes. I have been confused several times. I've been left thinking, 'Didn't I change that already? I recall changing that.'

Is that normal? Do other writers have paranoia about their word processing software?

Perhaps I'm special. In any case, I'll be editing The Dying God & Other Stories again, and again, and again. I'm figuring once a day until I have to upload it. Sound good? It doesn't to me, but it needs to be done.

On that note, I must dash and do it. Have a lovely Tuesday everyone!

UGH! That is all.

Motivation seems to be an issue with me right now. I think I'm putting a little too much pressure on myself. I'm stressed out about The Dying God & Other Stories, which is due to come out at the end of this month.

I'm stressed out about The Osprey and the Crow, which I am preparing to submit to competition at the end of the year.

I'm stressed about finances.

I'm stressed about life in general.

That is why, I've come to realise, I've been daydreaming so much. It's my defence against the world. It's good to escape every once in a while, but I think I've been doing it a little too much.

Because I'm stressed.

So today, I'm going to take a deep breath, play my music, and plunge into the work. If I'm really, really lucky, my daydreams won't take over today. I'll let you know how that works out.

In the meantime, Neil Gaiman has come up with a lovely idea for Hallowe'en. Read about it on his blog here. It's a good idea.

Until, tomorrow, then. Have a great Monday, even if it is Monday.

Friday's News

Life is great today!

I'm doing the stress-free life this week. I've been taking my editing very lightly - only a page or so a day. I've done this for several reasons. First and foremost, I dislike the exercise. I understand that it's necessary and proper. I just don't like doing it. Secondly, my brain has switched into daydream mode, rendering any other mental capacity absolutely useless. I'm sure it'll pass soon. Mind you, I'm enjoying these daydreams! Thirdly, I've been concentrating on The Dying God & Other Stories more as it is due to be released in nine days (eeep!).

I've been listening to some old school classic rock. These songs I have loved, but, oddly, forgot about. I would like to thank whomever is responsible for the music on the show Supernatural for reminding me about how awesome this stuff is. Look up these songs, and tell me they don't make your day:

Carry On My Wayward Son - Kansas

Don't Fear the Reaper - The Blue Oyster Cult

Red Right Hand - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Fight the Good Fight - Triumph

Hot Blooded - Foreigner

Anything AC/DC

That's a very small selection of very awesome music. Now why can't people play and sing like that now days?

This weekend, my Kung Fu school is visiting my Kung Fu brother M.F. in Montreal. Unfortunately, due to the fact that I'm poor as dirt, I won't be attending. I'm making a sad face. M.F. also happens to be one of my favourite Beta Readers because he's honest and to the point. For this reason, I'm sending down a little gift for him (hint: it's an original of one of the drawings I did for The Dying God).

Don't forget, there are 3 competitions running this month for The Dying God & Other Stories. Read about them here, then enter them. You've got to be in them to win them!

For today's giggle you must read this.

I think that's everything. Have a lovely weekend everyone!

Not Much to Note

Things are pretty quiet on my end. Come to think of it, my life in general isn't all that exciting at the moment.

I had lots of excitement when I was young. We moved around every two years. I was bullied. A lot. I change schools. I changed subjects. I met new people. Made new friends.

Now that I'm all "grown up" life appears to have slowed down some. I'm not really meeting that many new people. Not that I particularly want to. I have found that people, in general, annoy me. Present company excluded, of course.

I wake up. I get ready. I go to work. I go to training. I come home. I sleep. Five days a week (unless it's Friday. There isn't training Fridays), every week of the year. Weekends follow a similar pattern. Saturday: wake up, eat breakfast, go to Lion Dance, teach Kung Fu, go home. Sunday: sleep.

Boring!

Luckily, I have an imagination into which I regularly escape. In there, all sorts of adventures are happening - and most of it is terribly exciting. You know, as exciting as wars and hardship can be. Of course, if I was living the life I imagine, I'd want to slow the pace a little. I'd probably want the quiet, thoroughly unexciting life I lead now. I just can't win!

I am still hoping for some excitement in my real life. Like an email from an agent or publisher that says:

'Loved it. Sending the contract today.'

Or some such.

That would be so exciting, I might drop dead of a heart attack. Now that would be ironic!

Until then, I'm plugging away at editing and forever hoping that I might yet be a published author. Le sigh.

Speaking of editing, I must get cracking. Happy Thursday everyone!

Computer Trouble

I'm so sorry this post is so late. The computer just crashed, and I got a big blue screen with white writing which told me that a very serious problem occurred and Windows had to shut down.

So, today will be spent backing up all my stuff, and scanning every inch of the hard drive with various programmes in the hopes that something might get fixed. Le sigh. I hate it when computers near the end of their lives.

Writing wise, things have been going slowly. I've managed to do no editing for the past couple of days as a new story idea ferments in my mind. I have roughly 100 pages left to edit, then I must go back and address the issues raised by another Beta Reader.

Editing is such draining work! It must be done, however. With luck and a little perseverance, I ought to be finished the first round of edits by the end of next week. There will be a small celebration.

All I can say right now is, "Thank goodness for training!"

I know I've talked on the subject before, but it's incredibly important to get out and away from the computer and exercise! I feel calmer and more able for it.

Right, I have to start backing up my stuff. Have a great Wednesday all!

Weird Dreams

I have weird dreams. Dreams that are so vivid, and odd that one might be excused for thinking I dropped a little acid before I went to bed.

Last night I was a dog. Not just any dog, either. I was Cysgod Mawr - a character I created for one of the short stories in The Dying God & Other Stories (available October 31st, exclusively at Lebrary.com). Please excuse the shameless plug. In any case, I could shape-shift into the human me. I do have to note here, that in my dreams I'm a fit, sleek goddess. In reality... not so much. Fit, yes. Sleek, no.

In any case, I was involved in an epic battle with someone, who I can't recall, though it seems to me that I know the person in real life. When I shape-shifted, I wore the skins of a wolf and I had twin blades that, at my command, lit up with blue flames.

I'm ditching the editing today to write this down. It might be end scene from a story that is trying to make itself heard. I've been largely ignoring my stories as I edit. Not today! This scene was just way to good to pass up! So, Happy Tuesday everyone. I've got to get writing!

Oh, before I go, you want to read this article on the Writer's Beware blog. Trust me. It's need to know for all writers. Right. I'm off. Have a good day!

Good Morning, Week

Hello all,

I had a great weekend. How was yours?

I've officially recovered from whatever the hell cold/flu thing I had. I still have a little trouble breathing, but that's nothing that a little exercise won't fix. So, I'll be heading to training tonight for the first time in a week and a half. Excellent! My shoulders are tight and my neck is tense. These are symptoms that I've been away from training far too long! I can't wait to get back into it.

I had a very restful weekend. It was pretty typical. Saturday morning, I went to Lion Dance training. I taught Kung Fu that afternoon, and then went home for a long nap while I awaited my flatmate.

Sunday I went grocery shopping, then watched Supernatural all day. It's not a bad series, with some pretty funny moments. A modern T.V. show I can watch. How refreshing. I'm quite a bit behind, actually. I'm one disc away from finishing season 2. I think it's on its 6th season now, no? In any case, it entertained me all day.

Notice that there was nothing to do with writing in any of that? Yeah, me too. Of course, that means that I'm waaaaaay behind in my writing/editing stuff. That means I have to get cracking today.

Oh, I should mention that I've gotten a lot of positive feed back for the book trailer that J.M-B. did for me. Thanks everyone for your support and good will!

Right, I have to get back to editing and so on. Have a great Monday. I have training tonight, so I know I will!

A Positive Wednesday

Well, yesterday was fun!

I posted up news of the book trailer for The Dying God & Other Stories on every social networking site I belong to, and with the generous help of others, it went pretty far. I feel... almost famous!

I was pleased to find the trailer reposted on the Lebrary.com facebook fan page (yay for free advertising!). Then later that day, I found my name mentioned in a very short article on Lebrary.com. You can check that out here.

The book was also mentioned on LinkedIn.com by a friend of mine and fellow author Ronnie Dauber. She also posted a little something about the book on her blog. You can read it here.

I now have a subscriber on Youtube.com... someone who isn't family! They might be sorely disappointed though. I don't know how many videos I'll be posting. Perhaps there'll be more videos later on. Perhaps not. Who knows?

I am so incredibly flattered and humbled by everyone's help on this.

And now I'm really terrified. With all this hype (admittedly, a very small amount of hype in a very small circle of people), what happens if my book is utter rubbish? What if people hate it? I know I've posted about that yesterday... but it's really playing on my mind right now. I'm sooooo nervous!

And breathe.

I have a tonne of other stuff to worry about. Finish editing The Osprey and the Crow, for one. I got almost nothing done in that regard yesterday. I was a little caught up in the positive responses to the book trailer. I must focus. With that in mind, I'll stop bugging you with my neurosis.

Have a great weekend all, I shall return Monday.

Book Trailer!

SQUEE! The book trailer for The Dying God & Other Stories was uploaded yesterday. I've gotten some pretty good feedback for it. For those of you who are curious, here it is:

You can also find it on youtube and my facebook fan page.

I'm quite impressed with J.M-B. for all the hard work and stuff (technical term) she did for this trailer. I'm just concerned now that the trailer makes my book look better than it actually is... and you'll all be sorely disappointed when you start reading it. I'm having anxiety over the quality of my work. I'm so nervous about it. Eep!

We'll see when the reviews come in. One of my Beta Readers, who is very forthright and honest, said he quite liked it - some stories more than others (which is to be expected of course). A friend of mine thought it was brilliant.

Is it wrong that I don't trust them? I mean, they know me. Of course they're going to be nice. Other people might not be so forgiving. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see.

Breathe.

In any case, the book trailer is awesome. I'm so impressed with J.M-B. and so incredibly grateful to Nox Arcana, who let me use their music. Which reminds me, that enchanting, slightly creepy piece of music is called Labyrinth of Dreams and it's by Nox Arcana. In case you were unsure, Nox Arcana is the musical brains behind that song. Nox Arcana. Got it?

You can find that particular tune on their Grimm Tales CD. Buy it. I will be. Perhaps I'll offer a copy up as a prize? Not sure yet, but it sounds like an idea.... although, people seem not to want the book much. My competitions have been largely ignored. I'm making a sad face, just so you know.

We (J.M-B. and I) originally had an actress (alright, it was J.M-B.'s younger sister) lined up to play the part of, uh, lantern carrier. She, however, bailed and so I was the only one available to do it. I might regret that later, but for now it's alright. It was actually kinda fun filming in the middle of the night with candles and stuff everywhere. Trampling through the forest with a candle-lit lantern for light was not bad.

I couldn't see a damned thing when it was just a tea-light we had in there. But once we put in a proper candle, however, I stopped tripping over things... mostly. I almost caught a branch in my eye, though. I swore profusely. Unfortunately the camera was not recording at the time, so we couldn't include it.... Ah, well. Maybe next time!

Alright, I have work to do, so I'll leave you alone now. Have a great Thursday everyone!

Daydream

I have touched a couple of times, but never really written specifically on, the importance of daydreams.

For those few people who have never had them and don't know what the hell I'm talking about, a daydream is something remarkable that happens to people. It usually creeps up on you in times of intense boredom. For me, that happened A great deal at school, where I was generally bored out of my tree. Metaphorically, of course, except once when I actually fell out of a tree.

In any case, it is the sudden descent into the impossible all while sitting in a chair. Depending on the person, one can travel to the deepest, darkest, unexplored rain-forests, or one can become a member of an elite demon-hunting squad. I've done both, if you must know. All this can be achieved by sitting and staring out the window while your frightfully dull geography teacher lectures about a badly mispronounced 'Phuket.'

If you are going to write creatively it is of the utmost importance that you are able to daydream. You must be able to sit still and stare out the window at nothing in particular and find yourself dancing in a stone circle, or fighting a war, or falling in love.

Daydreams are SO important.

They help feed the imagination. Even if you don't write what you daydream about, it helps feed the creative juices.

As for myself, I never grew out of daydreaming. Some people do. I just never did, and my daydreams are incredibly vivid - to the point where I have been moved to tears, or startled so badly I almost fall out of my chair (sorry, Mr. McLean). Every daydream I've had has a place in my writing.

With The Seraphimé Saga, I had a daydream about the main character (Seraphimé) standing on part of a ruined platform, staring out across a frozen landscape on a moonlit night, with a giant black dog at her side. I wrote that scene, and then the rest of the story just spilled out.

The Great Man series is almost entirely daydreams I've had about and around the main character, Julian, whom I first met when I was fourteen... in a daydream. I literally daydreamed the entire series.

I've always been a dreamy, head-in-the-clouds sort of person. I was terrible at sports, mostly because I got bored easily, and daydreamed a lot... on the field... when I should have been chasing that softball.

Oops.

Daydreams can get tricky. I am so in tune with the dreaming part of my brain, I'm likely to fall into a daydream in the middle of a sentence. This is bad. If you can control your daydreams, don't let them get a hold of you if you're in the middle of a conversation. It can be awkward starting a sentence, then drifting off into nothingness, staring out passed the person with whom you are conversing, without ever actually finishing your thought. Trust me.

Yes, I have done that.

Also, you may find yourself the most hated person on your sports team if you're daydreaming at the goal post when that tie-break is scored against you.

Yep. I've done that too.

What do you want from me? Being goalie was boring and my brain... well... drifted someplace else.

And if at all possible, never, ever, mistake a daydream for reality. I've experienced this quite recently, and reality turned out to be very painful indeed. So, never let your imagination run away with you. Then men in white coats will be after your tail. Of course you have a tail. I just saw it.

Ahem.

Barring those mistakes, all of which I have made, daydream away.

Daydream often. Daydream unashamedly. Just daydream.

A Long Post

Aaaaaand I'm back.

I'm still unwell, but not enough to keep me from work and editing. The sooner this editing schtick is over, the happier I'll be. Well, you all already know I'm not an editing fan.

Also, I wanted to say:

HAPPY (belated) THANKS-GIVING, CANADA.

I meant to write that Monday, when it was actually Thanks-giving, but I forgot. Sorry. It's been nine years in the country, and I'm still getting used to it.

My Thanks-giving weekend was very quiet. After the awesome dinner party J.M-B. threw for our friends, there was no one around for days. J.M-B. herself went up to her grandparents cottage. I went to bed, and there I stayed almost the entire weekend. Saturday I alternated between the couch and bed. I watched a great deal of Supernatural, a show I had just been recently introduced to. They're going on season six (right?) now, I think. I just finished watching season one this weekend. I have some serious catching up to do!

Sunday was much the same.

Monday was lovely. I managed to sleep in. I went out of the house for the first time that weekend to meet Dad for a Thanksgiving lunch in town. I tried to walk. That was a mistake. Quite normally I can walk from my house to downtown in a little over an hour. At the quarter-way mark, however, I stopped being able to breathe, so had to wait for the bus.

Annoying.

Lunch was wonderful. I was very non-traditional and went for the lamb. Lamb in the U.K. tends to be a spring thing, and in Australia it's an 'any time we feel like' thing. Here in Canada, not too many people eat lamb, and so for me it's a 'treating myself royally' thing. It was good lamb!

I found that I was so exhausted from being awake and active for the two hours over lunch (including travelling time) that I was too exhausted to do anything at all when I got home. I collapsed into bed and would have fallen asleep, except that J.M-B. arrived just a couple of minutes later. We ended up watching The Karate Kid. The new one. You know, where the lead character learns, uh, Kung Fu. I don't get why they called it The Karate Kid when it was clearly Kung Fu. In any case, it was a decent movie, actually. I was mildly impressed.

That evening J.M-B. taught me to knit. There we were, sitting on the couch, wrapped in blankets, drinking tea, and knitting while watching the telly while the cats happily roamed around. If 'crazy cat ladies' occurred to anyone else, you aren't alone.

Yep. It's official. We have become the quintessential crazy cat ladies. Now all I need to do is buy a rocking chair and a shot-gun and the image will be complete. Ah well. Any man I date will have to be mighty understanding.

The plan for this week is to rest (so that means no training) and edit. With any luck at all, I'll be done editing The Osprey and the Crow soon. Then I can submit it and forget about it. Likewise, hopefully The Dying God & Other Stories will be uploaded as planned and I'll be able to forget about it. Then I can stop editing and get back to writing. There are a number of ideas that are swirling around my head at break-neck speed right now, and I need to get them down soon. The insomnia is beginning to return.

On that note, I must get editing. It was a long blog post today. Sorry about that. Making up for three days of silence, I suppose. Have a great Tuesday everyone!

Friday. Thank Goodness!

It's Friday today. Three cheers!

I was ill in bed yesterday. I'm now back at work, although I still feel ill. I can at least talk without feeling like my throat is being attacked by a massive cheese grater.

I have so much stuff to do it's not funny. I'll be really glad when it's all over - when I've uploaded The Dying God & Other Stories and can then forget about it; when I have submitted The Osprey and the Crow to competition and can forget about it; when I can take a little time off editing and finally write again.

Editing is such soul-crushing work!

Speaking of The Dying God, I have a new competition up. Not only do you receive a free copy of the e-book, but you also receive an original artwork by artist Rosa Christian! It's a great prize. So pop on over to here, and read what it takes to win!

Alright, I must get editing.

Oh, and before I forget, this weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, which means a long weekend, which means I probably won't post on Monday. I'll be back Tuesday. Happy Thanksgiving!

A Spanner in the Works

Hi all!

I'm writing this today very early from home because I woke up to a sore throat and chills.

I will now be going back to bed. There won't be any editing today (which might just be a blessing in disguise). There won't be any writing. I'm going to sleep all day.

This is a public service announcement.

E-Book Give Away

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Great news:

You can win a free copy of The Dying God & Other Stories!

How? you ask.

Well, says I. Just head on over here. Follow the instructions therein, and tah-dah! You're in the running for a free copy!

You have until midnight (why is it always midnight?) of the 29th of this month, so get cracking!

Good luck.

J'Adore Autumn

I wish I had walked into work today. I took the bus because I had a hundred bags hanging off me and it would have been a very uncomfortable walk. A hundred is only a slight exaggeration. In any case, on my way to the bus stop, it struck me how absolutely beautiful this time of year was.

It was quite windy, and with every gust, leaves in all hues let go of their branches and danced on the wind, landing gently on the ground, on my bags, and sometimes in my hair. The air was cool, but not cold, and smelled crisp and clean and wonderful. I took a deep breath and was suddenly calm.

As I walked, trees with leaves of red and gold hung over the street, gifting their leaves to the wind. Some leaves, fallen in the night, crunched pleasingly underfoot. The child in me just had to stop and jump into a large mound of leaves and then kick them around. Ahhhh... it was wonderful!

Autumn is, quite simply, my favourite time of the year. It's just stunning.

Now I want to highlight an artist for you. My mother. Based in North Queensland, Australia, she has just started blogging this year and has a few pieces of artwork up on her blog on the "Art Gallery" page. I'm not just saying she's incredibly talented because she's my mother. She is actually incredibly talented. Check out her art and see if you disagree. You can do so here.

She has very kindly agreed to donate an original water-colour as a prize for a competition I'm planning to run for the release of The Dying God. Hopefully the details of that competition will be worked out shortly and it will be up before the middle of the month.

I shall leave you in anticipation until then.

Right, I have editing to get on with. Have a wonderful Wednesday. I know I will. After all, I played in leaves!

OUTRAGE! and Other Things

Yesterday, I read a blog post by an English teacher, and I was outraged. I was outraged for her, and the horrors she went through trying to get students to read. Worst of all, she was successful in getting her students reading. She had managed to raise their scores by impressive amounts. How was she rewarded?

With back-stabbing, bullying and worse by short-sighted parents and weak-willed principals. I am so upset for this poor woman. You MUST read her story, and you can do so here.

This should never, EVER be permitted. I am appalled at the parents responsible, and most especially at the principals of this school, who are supposed to be educators.

Thought control is a crime.

UGH! People!

Now that I've depressed you to pieces, here's some good news for self-publishers. A special thanks to Writer's Beware (via Facebook) for posting this article.

I got almost no editing done yesterday because the computer was being so difficult. That means I have my work cut out for me today! Must hop to. Have a great Tuesday everyone!

A Good Weekend

Good morning all and a happy Monday!

My good cheer may just annoy a lot of people. I understand that it is a little difficult to take first thing on a Monday morning. Tough biccies (n.(bik-keys) Australian slang for biscuits). I had a lovely weekend in which I did as little as possible. I caught up on a great deal of sleep, and did so with the kittens curled on me in various positions. I felt so loved this weekend. It was awesome.

Saturday night, I went out with my father. We watched Legend of the Guardians. It's a great flick based on a popular children's series. I was surprised to see something with so much Australian content (almost all the voice actors had Australian accents). There was even an echidna. I got a little homesick, actually.

As my flatmate is away with the computer (fair go, it's her computer after all), I didn't have the opportunity to check emails, etc. There are a lot! All of that to say, my apologies for the late blog post. I have a good reason (other than the computer being stupidly slow, as it always is first thing on a Monday).

Catching up on everything I've missed, I read a great post by fellow aspirant, Anna L. Walls. It has some great tips on what makes good writing - things I'm still struggling with. Read it here.

Right, I have editing to get on with. Have a great Monday everyone!

Feeling Mediocre

Well, I've made the mistake of reading reviews of Unlocked. I couldn't help it. I was quite excited to see what people thought of it.

The reviews aren't bad, actually. They're generally quite positive....

But Her Father's Eyes isn't mentioned in any review that I've read. Other stories are mentioned as favourites. It's a bit like this:

The stories are all alright, but the stands outs are Title, Title, Title, not Her Father's Eyes.

Before everyone throws their arms in the air and gets mad at me, I'm not jealous of the other writers who are mentioned. I'm really very pleased for them, actually. They all worked hard and are amazingly talented authors.

I'm just feeling mediocre right now. Like I'm not good enough. Like I'm not going to make it.

Maybe I am a mediocre writer. Maybe I'm just not that good.

I don't think I'm terrible, or I wouldn't have gotten into the anthology in the first place. I'm just not great. This talent that I thought I had? Maybe I don't have enough of it.

I'm not saying this for pity comments either - so don't go spouting false praise to make me feel better. I'll just get suspicious. I don't like flattery.

I'll still keep trying, of course. There is only one way to improve, and that's to keep writing. I'm just much less certain than I was.

It'll pass. I'll get my confidence back, and this mood will be over.

Ah... the highs and lows of pursuing a dream.....

Alright. Everyone have a great weekend. I'll be back Monday, barring hell or high water!