Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.

- Graycie Harmon

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Why I Could Never be Anorexic, or, a Slow News Day

There really isn't much to report today. I received another rejection via email yesterday. It made me very sad. I sulked all day... and even cried a little bit.

It can be so disheartening to read rejection after rejection after rejection. More so since this story is very dear to me. I know it's not personal. How could it be? All the same, I'm feeling very downcast. Perhaps one day soon there'll be happier news.

Yesterday was generally a good day, actually. Despite the rejection and the tears. Though, the evening was terrible. I developed a stomach ache that was quite mild while I was walking to training, but by the time weapons class started, it was excruciating. I've never felt pain quite like it before. It was as if my stomach was simultaneously cramping, exploding and eating itself, and I was nauseous.

I though it might be because of what I had eaten for lunch. A chick pea salad.... giving the world's worst stomach ache.... really? After having spoken to Sifu I thought that perhaps it was hunger. He thought much the same.

You see, normally I eat an apple about a hour before training to tide me over for the three hours of work until I can have a proper (but small) dinner. I had forgotten my apple yesterday, and so didn't have my afternoon snack. Then, after just two hours of training, my stomach protested so much, it was crippling. I did not train Kung Fu that night, I was in so much pain.

My Kung Fu sister A.H. showed up for the first time this semester, so afterwards the pack of usual suspects (A.H., K.C. and myself) went out for Pho. I didn't think I'd want to eat with my stomach being the way it was. But I did eat. And I felt better. The pain slowly subsided and the nausea vanished. By the time I was driven home (thanks K.C., by the by) I felt much, much better.

So, I must conclude that it was hunger that had done these things to me. All I can say is this, starvation must be a terribly painful way to die. By the by, I don't quite understand how hunger could been so painful for me. It's not like there aren't plenty of, uh, reserves to take from.

In other, less interesting news, a search came through from London (U.K., not Ontario). They used my first name, so I think they were after that other Carrier... spelt C-a-r-r-e-r-e, people. Get it right!


So that is everything for the moment. I have a new short story idea I am pursuing, so I have to go and get on it. Hopefully I'll be finished the short story today. If so, then I am almost half-way done on my self-publication project! Go me!

Have a wonderful Thursday everyone.


Skipperdoo said...

As much as I can easily understand how you must feel terribly despondent by this seemingly endless stream of rejections, which seem to have taken on some sort of French farce like timing, at least your stuff is being read. These aren't automatic rejections, saying thanks, but nothing unsolicited, but are the results of someone reviewing your stuff.

That has to take you a step closer to being published.
Have you replied to any of them asking for a little guidance on what you could do to improve your chances?

You now have the names of people rejecting your work, so you've got a formal line of communication available. Use it.

p.s. my great big hope was rejected this week, too. I just don't mention it to anyone...

S.M. Carrière said...

Hi Skipperdoo!

Thank-you for posting! It's always nice to hear a fresh voice.

I do know that I am lucky to be able to submit at all. All the same, it gets tough when no one seems to want your stuff.

Thank-you for your advice. I might give it a try, though a number of agents have noted that they would rather not be bothered with even so much as a 'thank-you for taking the time' note.

I chose to keep this blog so that other aspirants might know how difficult it is to get published and so not be surprised when it comes their turn to try.

I do hope you continue pedalling your big hope to whomever may pick it up!