Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.

- Graycie Harmon

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Waxing Lyrical and Other Nonsense

Hello everyone. Sorry for the late post. I actually totally forgot about my blog today. I was feeling a bit blue over the three rejections I received yesterday, so decided to listen to music and play online games instead.

Yes, right, three more rejections, bringing my rejection total to.. uh... 26. 26! Seriously? Ouch.

There is a light of hope, though. Two agents have asked for more of my writing. One, last week, asked for three chapters. Since I don't really have chapters, but sections, as it seemed to suit the flow of the story better, I sent him my Prologue and Section I, which is roughly three chapters. I'm still waiting to hear from him and from the research I've done, he's usually quite prompt about deciding, which makes me think he's not really interested. :( - this is my sad face. Though, according to those who've dealt with him, he usually tells people up front. So maybe he is interested. :) - this is my happy face.

The other agent sent me an email quite late Friday, which I did not receive until Monday morning. She only asked for five pages... which means if my first five pages don't grab her and make her want to read more, I'm screwed. Fingers crossed. I haven't heard back from her either.

So now I just have to wait, of course. I hate waiting. Grrrrr! >< - this is my frowny face.

I'm sure that I'll be told either way from both agents, so there's still hope. Perhaps they're torn, and like what they see, but are trying to justify taking on the risk of a complete and utter unknown. Maybe they hate it and are trying to formulate a nice "you suck" letter. Who knows? I certainly don't!

So, I'll wait.

Trying to get published is fun, isn't it? Sarcasm is so difficult to portray through type....

I do have to say though, that having agents ask to see more stuff is a thrill, and a small, humble validation. With every agent that asks, my heart flits a little, and a tiny voice inside my brain says, "See, I told you! You are a good writer!"

With so many rejections flooding in, though, it's sometimes very hard to remain positive. The voice inside my head helps a lot. It says things to me like:

"You will get published, be patient."
"You are good, you will make it."

and when I'm feeling really down and defeated it says:

"You know what you need? You need to send out more queries, that's what you need. Oh, and tea. A nice hot cuppa. Tea fixes everything."

And so off I go to get tea and I drink it while writing more queries to more agents, and before I know it, I do feel better, and I think to myself, 'tea does fix everything!' Since that little voice has been so terribly helpful, I shan't be taking medication to get rid of it any time soon, so don't even suggest it!

Speaking of voices, I'm currently listening to Finnish acappela group Rajaton. They're really, really good. Some of their stuff is a bit, well, pop-ish for my tastes, but some of their other stuff is really, really, really good. Do check them out!

Where was I? Right, voices in my head. That has absolutely no bearing on what I'm about to say next.

Training starts again tomorrow. Yay! I have been away from the heavy bag way too long. I'm sure kicking the bag for an hour will certainly help with my rejection angst. Perhaps this semester I'll actually start working towards my next sash. Which means I have to take a sash exam. :-/ - this is my dismayed face.

I hate sash exams. You can't B.S. your way out of a sash exam like you can out of a Arts exam (ahem). Worse, still, people are watching. And not just watching idly, no. They're judging. I despise the whole process. It really feels like Canadian Kung Fu idol. There is a panel of three judges, and everyone knows who the Simon of the group is... I'm a nervous wreck before I'm even up there. I always screw up something. Yet, I know if I don't, I'll be stuck and bored. Oh, the drama!

Right, I think I've wasted enough time. Back to sudoku, or reading, whichever I feel like doing most. Have a great Tuesday everyone.


KuietKelticGirl said...

I imagine these agents have rather perfected the art of wording a "you suck" letter. So while it is possible that you've so moved them that they need to create a whole new class of polite you suck letters, I'm going to vote in my usual manner which is to say chin up, you've managed to catch some interest, congrats!

S.M. Carrière said...

You're right, and when you're right, you're right. Sudden urge to watch 'The Secret of NIMH' growing....

Alright, I'm quite done being silly... almost.

I do stand by my first sentence, however. I do imagine agents have all kinds of ways of say "you suck" and thus I remain ever hopeful.

I'm very pleased that I've managed to generate interest. It seems to be a slow upwards progression, which is a good sign. The next step? Getting that agent.

I will be published...I will be published...I will be published....