Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.

- Graycie Harmon

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Grrr! Argh!

That's really all I needed to say right now. Still not doing so well emotionally. I'll get there, once this weekend is over, I think.

I'm horribly stressed out about speaking in public. I haven't done that since being in the Debating Team in High School. Yes, we had a debating team. Yes, I was on it. We were even champions the four years in a row that I was on the team. In any case, it's been a while ... and I'm not arguing a point. I'm reading something that is personal to me out to a bunch of people who've won all sorts of awards for their writing.

I'm terrified.

Bad news as well. There won't be any family present when I'm reading. The reason being that Oshawa is a 5 hour drive from Ottawa. 10 hours of driving in one day is a little much, so they'd have to stay overnight. That's a lot to do for just ten minutes of reading.... there isn't all that much in Oshawa to do, so they'd be bored the rest of the time. Also, there is a family gathering at one of the cottages that same weekend in honour of my sister and her husband, so I can't rightly drag them away from that.

So, I am taking the train down and back by myself. I've navigated London (England, not Ontario) by myself for three days. I can handle two days in Oshawa. I am a little sad about it though. I was looking forward to having family there.

Such as life, I suppose. Right, I should be getting on with it. There's lots to do in preparation for this weekend, so I must get on that. Have a lovely Wednesday everyone!


Tom said...

As someone who once stood on a plinth in the centre of London, in front of a TV camera, knowing that my family were present, my friends and employers were watching the live feed on the internet, I'm pretty sure it's far easier to do this in front of people who aren't close to you.

You'll do fine; don't judge yourself, try not to endlessly replay it in your head afterwards, and remember that the only people whose opinion really matters aren't there.

Relax. Try to enjoy it.

S.M. Carrière said...

Oooh! There's a story there! Why were you in front of a T.V. camera? That sounds exciting!

I will try very hard to relax and enjoy. Due to the way the trains run, I'll be in Oshawa Friday night, and will probably spend Saturday doing relaxing things for myself by way of preparation... some Tai Chi, long walks, that sort of thing.