Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.

- Graycie Harmon

Monday, July 11, 2011

When Things Went Awry

Well, last night was an exciting time. I read an email from a potential agent who had some concerns over the ending of The Third Prince and wanted me to re-write it.

Not a problem, thought I. So long as the story remains relatively intact, I can do that. After all, I kinda get what she means.

I neglected to read the second email she sent me which stated that she just wasn't thrilled enough to take on the book.

I read that this morning.

And now I want to cry.

You know that sinking feeling you sometimes get when your life appears to be a big, empty void - a colossal chasm filled with dreams never fulfilled? I have visions of me sitting at this very desk, twenty years from now, still single, plumper than I should be, embittered and defeated.

Right now, I want to quit. Who needs to be published, anyway?

Trying was a stupid idea.

Of course, I'm not especially bright, so I'm going to keep trying. Like a hamster that never learns to stop touching the electric frikkin' wire.

Maybe I'll self-publish it.

I don't want to, but who knows? Maybe it's the only way this story will see the light of day. And this story deserves to see the light of day.

Let me stress, I'm not in any way, shape or form, angry with the agent. Actually, she was excellent at keeping me abreast of where she was at with my submission and I appreciate her candid explanation of why she wouldn't take on the manuscript.

Besides which, I would much rather have an agent who was thoroughly excited about my stuff.

There just seems to be no such beast.

Well, I'm going to go hide in a hole for the rest of the day, probably cry some and think a great deal. Here's today's Forgotten English to keep you occupied while I do:


To emasculate through squeamishness. From the name (Bowdler) of one of Shakespeare's "purifiers." [Occasionally still used.]
- John Hotten's Slang Dictionary, 1887.


bazikg said...

This is how I feel all the time! But the difference between making it, and not is giving in, quite simple really, you have to keep trying and I know you will.
I think back at when we first met maybe two years ago know, and I remember that back then you really had very little if any recognition, today is totally different, you've gotten some great reviews, people know you more and even more people follow you, so you are making progress, it might just seems it's to little and to slow, but progress is being made.
So be strong keep your head up and push forward, you will get there.

Talk to you soon!

S.M. Carrière said...

I just started crying again!

I'm continually amazed at how much support I've gotten from people I've met online.

It's a good thing, too. It helps keep me on track. It feels like I'm letting everyone down if I quit, not just myself. That, I find, is a very strong motivator.

Thank-you so much for your support. You rock the Casbah!

Pam Asberry said...

Gosh, S.M., I hope you are feeling better now! I have only known you a short time, but I LOVE your stuff, and I KNOW you will achieve the success you crave. You have the ability; you have the work ethic. As you already know, you have no choice but to keep plugging and HAVE PATIENCE. Self-publishing does not equal failure in today's world; that said, my dream is still to have at least ONE book published traditionally, and I know my manuscript isn't ready yet. Maybe yours isn't either; maybe that's why you could see the agent's point of view about the revisions she suggested. So cry all you need to today, then get back to work. It's just ONE rejection; there may be more. But eventually you will get The Call. I just know it!

S.M. Carrière said...

I'm feeling a little better now, thanks Pam. Music helped a lot!

Thank-you for the compliment.

The agent said that, unlike a TV series, a book cannot end with a cliff-hanger, even if it's one in a series.

I'm in two minds about it (hence the "kinda"), but was willing to compromise for a chance at representation...

Which didn't happen either way.

And I had such high hopes this time around. Le sigh!

I've been working on book 5 today, which has helped a great deal, and I'll query another agent soon.

Perhaps this time around...