Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.

- Graycie Harmon

Monday, June 7, 2010

Burnt Bridges?

I'm going to ramble a bit this morning, so sorry in advance. This pertains to the editing process.

As those who follow this blog well know, I was fortunate enough to be included in a short story anthology being arranged by my Goodreads.com friends. The anthology is titled Unlocked, and the stories within must have something to do with a key. When to competition to be included in the anthology was announced, I whipped up a story in about two days.

My story, Her Father's Eyes, was selected to be included, something of which I am very proud. As it was an anthology, there were, of course, editors. This was my first time I've ever worked with editors and, I have to admit, it was frustrating. For them as well as myself, I'm sure.

Here is why:
They made a change - just one - that I did not agree with.

Though I may have balked, the rest was just chaff and I didn't mind the changes so much (I did sometimes question their necessity, but ultimately, it was not something I minded). However, one change they proposed not only seemed to make little sense to me, it stripped the story of my voice - it was not how I write.

Now, I do understand what they were trying to achieve with the change. I do. However, it seemed wrong to me - not true to form, if you will. Despite my trying to find a way to meet on middle ground, when they sent me final edits, they ignored my concerns and changed my changes to exactly their view (despite me changing them to something resembling middle ground during the previous round of edits). I finally had to put my foot down and explain to them on no uncertain terms why I felt the changes were 'not true to form' and I requested that they change it back.

They did.

Now here is the question that's been bugging me; have I burnt my bridges?

I greatly respect the people editing the anthology, and I am so incredibly grateful for this chance to strut my stuff, as it were. I understand how frustrating it is for someone to appear to be "not listening," since that's exactly how I felt about the editors insisting on the one change I did not agree with. I think they are great editors, and though I felt a little bullied, and I am certain that they meant well (of course they did.... who would want to attach their names to something that was second rate?).

I asked for advice. One piece of advice I received was thus:

'Don't get too proud of your style, it's still developing.'

Excellent advice, actually. Though not the reassurance I was looking for, it is true. My style is still developing, as is the styles of every other author that continues to write. The truth of the matter is, I can be overly prideful, and incredibly stubborn when I set my mind to something. It's a fault. So was I too stubborn?

Another piece of advice read:
'Ultimately, this is your work, and the decision falls to you as to how you wish to present it.'

This is also excellent advice. Though my style may be still developing, at the moment, this is the way I write. The changes proposed by the editors would have stripped that away. I would be misrepresented, essentially, to anyone who was reading the anthology. Should an agent read the story (hypothetically, of course) and dislike the voice, I'd have missed my chance. Should they love it, they'd find my other stuff terribly disappointing.

The truth is, I would much rather be disliked while being me, then liked trying to be someone else.

Why do people write? It's different for everyone. For me, it stems from a desire to be heard. Most of my life, I was ignored. Anything I said was dismissed without thought because I was too young/ I was a girl/ I was too odd/ I had an accent/ insert other unfounded reason here. When people read my writing, they are reading my words, hearing my voice. So yes, I would be protective of my style (full psycho-analysis should only be attempted by a professional... perhaps one day I'll see one).

Was I too protective? Do the editors hate me now? I know they are frustrated. They accidentally left in some notes meant only for each other (oops). But I was frustrated as well. I was also not being listened to. I had to insist before I was heard. I tried to do it as nicely as possible.

After having spoken to others in my immediate circle, I am certain that I made the right decision. The editors, obviously, disagree. So, have I made enemies of good people because of my insistence? Did I burn my bridges?

Does anyone else out there have stories of not seeing eye to eye with their editors? I'd love to hear them.

Friday, June 4, 2010

HOME!

I so excited to be going home again after two weeks away (I've been dog-sitting for two weeks for a friend, you see).


I love that dog, but I miss my kitties something fierce, and I can't wait to see them! I'm stupidly excited. I get to see them tonight! Yay!


Right, back to my usual stuff.


There is nothing to report. I finished another short story for my anthology yesterday. It's a little more on the Sci Fi side - unusual for me - but it still suits the overall theme. I haven't adjusted the counter on this blog for it because I'm scrapping one short story and rewriting the whole thing. It's a crap story, and I can do better.


Othere than that, there really isn't anything much to say. STILL no word from the agent who requested more of my stuff. I'm going to call him when I get home and find out what's happening. A little nervous about that, actually.


There was another Ziggs.com search. So, hello:

Visitor Location: College Park, MD
Date: May 30, 2010
Time: 8:58 AM EST

The computer is running really slowly... I mean REALLY slowly, which is why this post is so late. Sorry about that! Hope everyone has a great weekend, I intend to spend much of it cuddling the kitties.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

In a Funk

Yep, I'm in a funk.

It's one of those periodic moods I get where I don't want to do anything but sleep, eat chips, and stare blankly at the mind-numbing idiot box.

I don't feel like writing, don't feel like training, don't feel like living (not in the suicidal sense as in I want to end my life, but as in I just don't want to do the things I usually do).

You know what, I've been working so hard on everything, I think I'll give myself the day off. I'm just going to listen to music, play sudoku, and relax.

Yeah right, the last time I promised myself that, I ended up writing almost 4 000 words.

I'll try to relax.

On that note, have a great Thursday everyone.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I Hate Being Late!

And guess what, this post is late. Bloody perfect.

Pardon my language.

Alright, you know how my short story got picked for this competition and will be included in an anthology with other really talented writers, blahdy blahdy blah? Right. Well, I'm pretty sure the editors are regretting their choice right about now.

Not only have I questioned them to death about certain changes, but I missed my midnight deadline last night. Why? Because I'm an idiot, that's why. I thought I had emailed them changes on the 31st along with questions about certain changes I didn't feel were right. Only here's the idiotic part, I forgot to send the attachment. Did I figure this out during the rest of the day on Monday? Or even any part of the day Tuesday? No. I found this out when one of the editors explained their choice and I went to open the attachment I had sent them... only to find it not there.

I didn't have a copy with me. All my writing is on my work computer. I got the response from the editors at roughly 7:30 last night. Perfectly reasonable time in order for me to make changes to the story and send it back before midnight, right? Except that I was no longer at work... and the building gets locked up after 6pm, and you need a special key, which I don't have... and there was no attachment in my inbox like I thought there would be... and so I couldn't do the work before midnight.

So I raced into work a little earlier this morning, fired up my computer (which is working faster than yesterday, thank goodness), and sent away the edits. Nine hours late.

I am so not impressed with myself.

I'm sure the editors are also less than impressed with me, not least of all because of my questions. I still feel that one edit in particular just isn't right, but that's an aside. I changed it to make a happy medium... hopefully it'll be a happy medium. In the version that will be appearing in my own anthology, I'll reverse that change, I think.

Right, I have more short stories to write, so I have to get on it. Have a lovely Wednesday everyone!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Evaporated

.... they're gone. They're all gone. All the short story ideas I had in my head. They're gone. Three days of solid editing killed them and left me bereft with a project that needs finishing....

What the hell do I do now?

Writer's block is less frustrating than panic-inducing for me, it seems. I don't seem to get it once I have the idea and have started writing. It all seems to flow stream-of-consciousness style when I finally make a start. Getting the idea, however, that's the tough part. For me at least.

I remember panicking after having completed my first series (The Great Man). I was struck dumb with a sudden fear that I would never have another story. That The Great Man was the only story I'd ever write, and I'd be left without my favourite thing in the world. Of course that was not the case.

It took about three months, but after a rest and some time away from Julian's story to dream, I stumbled into Seraphimé's world and two books later I had completed another series.

So, I'm certain there are story ideas in there somewhere. But I'm on a deadline, and I can't afford to wait three months.

So what the hell do I do now?

Well, I have a strategy. Listen to music. I've said it before, but for those who are new to this blog, music takes me places. In the sweeping melodies, counter-melodies and harmonies of a well-written piece, I can see entire landscapes from the tallest peaks to the deepest caverns. I witness births, deaths, battles... the rise and fall of dynasties. I watch the creation of a universe in my minds eye directly influenced by music.

So, today, I give myself permission to not write. Today, I'm going to listen to music, and I will dream.

Tomorrow, I will have at least two short story ideas written down.

Have a great Tuesday everyone!